I've been having a bad day today. I mean nothing bad happened as such, it's just I feel super irritated with every single thing that's been happening since morning. I woke up at my usual time, completed my daily chores and I just needed to sit in some peace and quiet when Leo (younger bro) decides to show up and start singing around me. Okay, he is a really great singer but to be really honest, his voice was piercing into my ears, brain, mind and soul. That was the outbreak of it, and since then whatever anyone said to me has been putting me off. I am feeling so angry, and I just realized I am even grinding my teeth as I am writing this post. PMS? I hope so!! Top it off with the marathon that has been playing on my PC coz' Leo wants to watch all the episodes of Two And A Half Men all over again. I used to like it, but I really cannot stand it right now.
Ryan called me this morning, and given that I was already in an irritated+frustrated mood, I started sobbing and unloaded majorly on him. With everything that has been bothering me. Sometimes you just need someone to hear you out. He did that exactly. Sometimes you just want someone to assure you that everything's going to be okay, regardless of how shitty the situation is, or how shitty their own lives are. He did that too. I did feel better, but that just made me miss being with him.
Joe and Peggy (A friend and his ex gf) have been pot roasting my brain for 2 days over their stupid break up now. The break up happened IN MAY 2010. They have STILL not had the closing talk. Last night Peggy asked me if it would be okay for her and Joe to have "the talk" in my presence, just to be safe? Just so that when she insults him, he does not get mad at her and insult her back? Start cleaning up your own mess people!!! I mean WTF?! Just coz' I'm nice to you does not mean you walk all over me, missy! I said NO. In big, block, bold letters. No. This has to stop. Then I called Joe and asked him to give me a break too. Put my cellphone on silent mode, and asked people to stop calling me for once. I am done with solving peoples' problems now. I fuckin' need to be ALONE! (and also I need a hug)
I miss my British Guy a lot. I met him in a chatroom last August, before I called it quits with Ryan. and I know you're all thinking I'm stupid, but we really hit it off. We really did. He was almost (too) perfect. We were planning on meeting this April. Now The Brit has a problem. He goes into a shell whenever he is in any crisis. He went missing for a month in September, and I was behaving like a kid who had her first heartbreak, like sobbing after him etc. He did show up, and promised that he wont repeat it again. The last I heard from him was when he wished me Merry Christmas, and since then he has been missing again. It's been a month now. Even though I'm not shedding tears, I miss him like crazy. I know I need to move on... I'm trying to. But I miss him. A lot. A lot more than I ever thought I would.
Sigh... I feel so frustrated, I wanna bang my head into a wall!!!!! Ughhh....
Hope all of you have a better day than I did!
Love
Apfel.
Ryan called me this morning, and given that I was already in an irritated+frustrated mood, I started sobbing and unloaded majorly on him. With everything that has been bothering me. Sometimes you just need someone to hear you out. He did that exactly. Sometimes you just want someone to assure you that everything's going to be okay, regardless of how shitty the situation is, or how shitty their own lives are. He did that too. I did feel better, but that just made me miss being with him.
Joe and Peggy (A friend and his ex gf) have been pot roasting my brain for 2 days over their stupid break up now. The break up happened IN MAY 2010. They have STILL not had the closing talk. Last night Peggy asked me if it would be okay for her and Joe to have "the talk" in my presence, just to be safe? Just so that when she insults him, he does not get mad at her and insult her back? Start cleaning up your own mess people!!! I mean WTF?! Just coz' I'm nice to you does not mean you walk all over me, missy! I said NO. In big, block, bold letters. No. This has to stop. Then I called Joe and asked him to give me a break too. Put my cellphone on silent mode, and asked people to stop calling me for once. I am done with solving peoples' problems now. I fuckin' need to be ALONE! (and also I need a hug)
I miss my British Guy a lot. I met him in a chatroom last August, before I called it quits with Ryan. and I know you're all thinking I'm stupid, but we really hit it off. We really did. He was almost (too) perfect. We were planning on meeting this April. Now The Brit has a problem. He goes into a shell whenever he is in any crisis. He went missing for a month in September, and I was behaving like a kid who had her first heartbreak, like sobbing after him etc. He did show up, and promised that he wont repeat it again. The last I heard from him was when he wished me Merry Christmas, and since then he has been missing again. It's been a month now. Even though I'm not shedding tears, I miss him like crazy. I know I need to move on... I'm trying to. But I miss him. A lot. A lot more than I ever thought I would.
Sigh... I feel so frustrated, I wanna bang my head into a wall!!!!! Ughhh....
Hope all of you have a better day than I did!
Love
Apfel.
10 comments:
This is me *hugging* you! You have beeen such an awesome "bloggy friend" and I really appreciate all of your comments and support. Believe me, I know what you are going through and it just plain fucking sucks. I try to keep myself busy but sometimes you just gotta get it out. I hope you feel better soon, but either way misery loves company. and I am MISERY! lol Cheer up! xoxox
OMG Hey Fool.. *bearhugs*... I am here for all the company you want :) You really make me smile :)
xoxoxo
As someone who has involuntarily had to deal with guys that go M.I.A. when they need to sort things out, there's always a danger that they might hurt you even more when (and if) they come back. I know this sounds harsh, but it's coming from a warm place in my heart. So just be careful where you tread.
*HUGS!*
thanks for all your comments on my blog, i really appreciate them! sounds like today was a rough one for you, but be encouraged - tomorrow is a brand new day with many opportunities to smile if you open your heart to them. (a learned process which also may require CLOSING your heart to some other things. ahh, boundaries. i'm starting a few posts on those soon.)
I had a bad day today too! Hmmm, I'm just going to go with Tuesday sucked! hehe
Chris, I totally agree with what you say. I just feel like an emotional fool. It's very hard for me to let things go. But I'm working on it. I think I should just shift my focus to more important things in my life, and I try to do that too, but somehow I always come back to this royal mess!
Stacey, *hugs* Just what I need!!!
Kelli, thanks for dropping by, and your blog has been helping me a lot by making me look at things from another angle, and maybe I do need to set some (or many) boundaries.
Janey yeah ;) Tuesday is GONE! Wednesday is here.. I'm gonna go out today and try making the most of it <3
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