I don't know if it is in the air. I don't know if everyone around me is feeling it too, but there is something that is just not right. It's not like things are going wrong, but it's just that the mind seems to be in utter chaos for reasons that I know not of. Or maybe I do.
I ended it with Ryan this time. For good. For the nth time. But I am pretty sure there wont be an (n+1)th time in this case. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am not even crying and I don't feel sad either. No on-again-and-off-again business. No more calling him when anything at all was up with me and vice versa. He wanted to remain friends, I refused. I had once learned from him - "out of sight,out of mind". I think it is time I apply what he taught me right on him. I am happy in a weird way, that I am accepting it and not feeling upset at all, it's like deep down inside I knew that this was not what I wanted. I guess we reached our expiry date. Sad that it did not work out, but happy that I re-found myself.
Getting out in the social scene has been a huge challenge for me. But I think this is what I need to tackle now, I need to get out there and I need to make a change for myself. I went ahead and enrolled myself for Spanish classes this month, but then Dad planned a trip overseas (YAY) so I will be starting it from June instead. I really wanna make a change, and I will.
Now that my Birthday is near, I cannot find a better ocassion to re-launch myself in a new Avatar. I'm talking about a change in look. Let us see how that goes!!
Last but not the least, I want to thank Purple and Panana for being there as always, and Snow White for knowing just the right thing to say, at any given point of time. Also, I am terribly sorry to all you guys for not being able to be prompt with catching up on blogs, but I cannot wait to read them! Slow and steady wins the race ;)
I ended it with Ryan this time. For good. For the nth time. But I am pretty sure there wont be an (n+1)th time in this case. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am not even crying and I don't feel sad either. No on-again-and-off-again business. No more calling him when anything at all was up with me and vice versa. He wanted to remain friends, I refused. I had once learned from him - "out of sight,out of mind". I think it is time I apply what he taught me right on him. I am happy in a weird way, that I am accepting it and not feeling upset at all, it's like deep down inside I knew that this was not what I wanted. I guess we reached our expiry date. Sad that it did not work out, but happy that I re-found myself.
Getting out in the social scene has been a huge challenge for me. But I think this is what I need to tackle now, I need to get out there and I need to make a change for myself. I went ahead and enrolled myself for Spanish classes this month, but then Dad planned a trip overseas (YAY) so I will be starting it from June instead. I really wanna make a change, and I will.
Now that my Birthday is near, I cannot find a better ocassion to re-launch myself in a new Avatar. I'm talking about a change in look. Let us see how that goes!!
Last but not the least, I want to thank Purple and Panana for being there as always, and Snow White for knowing just the right thing to say, at any given point of time. Also, I am terribly sorry to all you guys for not being able to be prompt with catching up on blogs, but I cannot wait to read them! Slow and steady wins the race ;)
♥
Apfel
