The Crystal Maze of Love, And getting used to life outside India

I was so exhausted with Dumbo and his emotional crap, and was also dealing with being by myself, without family, in a foreign country, living in an apartment with 4 other guys, and attending classes with 16 added to them, it was all getting a bit too much for me. Domestic Labor is very reasonable in India so before I moved out of the country, I always had a housekeeper at my beck and call, 24*7. Suddenly I had to deal with stuff like cooking my own meals, doing my own laundry and cleaning up after myself. During the initial one month of my training, I had to share a bedroom with a guy (who was also from India), of course we had separate beds, and he used to be logged on to the internet the whole time, trying to find someone to e-hump (which I did not know about). Even if I was a player, I was innocent and I thought that no one would want to hurt people or do things against them on purpose. I had to learn my lesson the hard way.

While I was going through this whole deal, I developed a huge crush on Justin, who lived alone in the next room. I used to think of my roommate as my friend, so I shared that with him, and he told me that Justin already has a girlfriend. So I kept my thoughts to myself. Justin used to always be into himself, he was the cutest guy on the campus, but also very shy - and that made him come across as a snobby, self obsessed person. I used to observe him a lot, how he enjoyed simple things like the sunshine in the middle of all that snow, and the beautiful blue of the cold, crisp sky during winters. We used to bump into each other more often than not, and he might have caught me staring at him with dreamy eyes even more often than that.

My jerk roommate was no good at studies, so the college decided to throw him out. We had arranged for a small going away party, followed by some dancing at the nearby club. He told me that he liked me at the party, to which I responded that I did not feel the same way for him. When we went to the club, he asked me to dance with him, and while we were dancing he suddenly kissed me. I was SO shocked! I did not see that coming. What I absolutely did not see coming was the applause that followed and everyone was cheering for us and I just looked over at Justin, and he was cheering for us too, but giving me the puppy-eyed look. I stormed out furiously, and asked my jerky roommate to fuck off out the house before I physically hurt him.

After jerk left, I broke into tears... It was just me and Justin in the house. He came over to me and started consoling me, thinking that I was upset with jerk leaving and that I was going to miss him. I gave him a confused look, and then he told me the story that shocked my socks off. Apparently my jerky roommate told the other guys that he was doing me all night, and that I was his girlfriend, and that is why everyone was applauding when he kissed me at the club. In fact Justin had asked him about me, and he asked Justin to back off coz' I was his girlfriend. I mean WTF?! I told Justin my side of the story too, and just felt glad that the air had cleared, also clearing the fact that we both had been crushing on each other badly, and it had been going on for sometime.

The next weekend was my birthday. But the whole week before that made my cheeks hurt so bad, because all we did was exchange looks, accidentally catching one eyeing the other, blushing constantly, those unfinished lines, and the rapid heartbeats. I had already broken up with Dumbo by then. All this only made it easier for me to avoid his calls and stop logging on to the internet for once. The guys took me out to the club on the night before my birthday and there was a lot of dancing (I did not drink back then!) and dedicating songs, a proper countdown to me turning 19, and at midnight I was being hugged by 19 guys at the same time (aww + ouch). They started playing the slow numbers at the end of the night, and I asked Justin to dance with me. We had our first close dance that night. I don't know what got over me but I gave him a peck on his cheek and both of us were blushing through the entire dance. It was a fun night, we got back home,I went over to Justin's room and asked  for a birthday gift. He said he did not have one, and I said, a kiss would do. And then he kissed me. And then we started dating! Haha.... I have a smile on my face as I am typing this story.

We lived in for 3 months after that. He made me feel like a princess. He was the first guy who made love to me. It was just all meant to be. 3 months later his course was over, and he had to return back home. That is when it all started going down the drain. Long Distance Relationships (LDR) suck as hell, and I might be the Queen of LDR's. He got busy with a job hunt, and I missed him so dearly, I used to feel lonely and cry a lot. He did his best to keep in touch, but it was just not enough. I guess it just becomes a lot more difficult when you get physically involved with a guy (in the name of love). I started falling sick a lot and missed my classes, which started affecting my performance academically. I was so depressed, that one day I took a flight back to India and went straight to his city to see him, even before I visited home.

He had come to the airport to pick me up, and offered for me to stay at his place with his parents for a few days, and I graciously accepted. Now this was a huge thing, it does not happen in Indian families. Also, I told my Mom about Justin before I left for India to keep her informed, and she was not happy (as expected), but asked me to be at my best behavior anyway. Then followed the 7 most tormented days I ever went through. I just could not fit in, and I am clearly not made for the whole typical Indian girl thing who covers her head with a dupatta and touches elder peoples' feet every single morning. I am not like that. If I don't love you, I wouldn't even give you a hug, and I do not touch my own parents' feet so his parents was out of the question. He started imposing stuff on me, which I did not like, and then it just turned into a huge ball of mess with families getting in and Ego's getting hurt and then his parents played the Astrology card (Big thing here, they match the birth charts of the boy and the girl before they get married), and said that I was bad omen for him, and like an idiot he just kept following his parents without a second thought.

I decided in the mean while that me and my parents (whom I had grown awfully close to, I guess distance does make hearts grow fonder in some cases) had been through enough, and went back to my city, spent some good time back home, and then returned back for my course, but to a new institute and a new city. I decided I needed a change. Co-incidentally, he was at the same institute for some extra classes, and we decided to give it one last shot. We lived in for another month. But it was not the same, we used to fight a lot, mostly over sex. Some ASSHOLE friend of his back home used to brag about how he used to do it with his gf without any protection, and that it was a sign of being a MAN if he could hold his own. And Justin wanted to try that with me, which I did not allow for obvious reasons. Soon, it was our first anniversary, and also my birthday again, and he was out all day with no time to spare for me. 5 days later, we broke up, and he returned back home.

Gosh, I really write long stories, don't I? But this is the only way I can let it out! I'll continue in my next post ;)


 I know it's morning for most of you girls who read me so I'll just share a Bollywood song that I usually listen to and thought it might brighten up your day ;) Don't know how many of you are into Bollywood music but the beats might just do their thing for you :)

Ainvayi Ainvayi - Band Baaja Baaraat
Please open it in a new tab/window!
For all of you into Indian Weddings, it's a wedding dance number 

Love,
xoxo
Apfel