I don't know if it is in the air. I don't know if everyone around me is feeling it too, but there is something that is just not right. It's not like things are going wrong, but it's just that the mind seems to be in utter chaos for reasons that I know not of. Or maybe I do.
I ended it with Ryan this time. For good. For the nth time. But I am pretty sure there wont be an (n+1)th time in this case. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am not even crying and I don't feel sad either. No on-again-and-off-again business. No more calling him when anything at all was up with me and vice versa. He wanted to remain friends, I refused. I had once learned from him - "out of sight,out of mind". I think it is time I apply what he taught me right on him. I am happy in a weird way, that I am accepting it and not feeling upset at all, it's like deep down inside I knew that this was not what I wanted. I guess we reached our expiry date. Sad that it did not work out, but happy that I re-found myself.
Getting out in the social scene has been a huge challenge for me. But I think this is what I need to tackle now, I need to get out there and I need to make a change for myself. I went ahead and enrolled myself for Spanish classes this month, but then Dad planned a trip overseas (YAY) so I will be starting it from June instead. I really wanna make a change, and I will.
Now that my Birthday is near, I cannot find a better ocassion to re-launch myself in a new Avatar. I'm talking about a change in look. Let us see how that goes!!
Last but not the least, I want to thank Purple and Panana for being there as always, and Snow White for knowing just the right thing to say, at any given point of time. Also, I am terribly sorry to all you guys for not being able to be prompt with catching up on blogs, but I cannot wait to read them! Slow and steady wins the race ;)
I ended it with Ryan this time. For good. For the nth time. But I am pretty sure there wont be an (n+1)th time in this case. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am not even crying and I don't feel sad either. No on-again-and-off-again business. No more calling him when anything at all was up with me and vice versa. He wanted to remain friends, I refused. I had once learned from him - "out of sight,out of mind". I think it is time I apply what he taught me right on him. I am happy in a weird way, that I am accepting it and not feeling upset at all, it's like deep down inside I knew that this was not what I wanted. I guess we reached our expiry date. Sad that it did not work out, but happy that I re-found myself.
Getting out in the social scene has been a huge challenge for me. But I think this is what I need to tackle now, I need to get out there and I need to make a change for myself. I went ahead and enrolled myself for Spanish classes this month, but then Dad planned a trip overseas (YAY) so I will be starting it from June instead. I really wanna make a change, and I will.
Now that my Birthday is near, I cannot find a better ocassion to re-launch myself in a new Avatar. I'm talking about a change in look. Let us see how that goes!!
Last but not the least, I want to thank Purple and Panana for being there as always, and Snow White for knowing just the right thing to say, at any given point of time. Also, I am terribly sorry to all you guys for not being able to be prompt with catching up on blogs, but I cannot wait to read them! Slow and steady wins the race ;)
♥
Apfel
15 comments:
I'm so happy for you. Love you much. ♥
Best of luck with the transitioning, it gets easier as time goes on. And I would agree that out of sight, our of mind is the best way to go about this. You really should get out and enjoy being social, it's the best way to get over someone versus sitting at home thinking. :)
It sounds like you're a little wobbly there still, but you're doing everything right. Keep listening to yourself. Hugs.
You did the best thing for yourself. He seemed quite toxic and in order to live the kind of life you want and deserve, he needed to be out of the picture. I'm so glad things are looking up for you! :)
Stacey,
♥ Love you too babe :)
Thanks a ton, Jessi :) It means a lot!!
Bingo Chris. I am very wobbly but I am trying to keep it together. It is difficult but I will get through it!
♥
Bella, I hope they stay this way!!!! hugs
Hey Appy u know what I think this will really be the final nth time..coz whatever u are feeling and all that you have put into words wre exactly what I have felt just about two weeks back..and the feelings are still sinking in with an added extra inner strength and self confidence within myself..and same will happen with you...and as the realization of the fact that he was not the one for u gets stronger with every passing day ..U will start feeling happier..and even if he calls you after this break up u will talk to him but u will feel blank inside,u will rather be surprised that how can it be!! my heart no more aches and even after talking to him I dun feel that attachment anymore
love
purple <3
Hi love,
I agree but let me tell you these feelings which you mentioned, have been going on with me for almost a year now. You know the reasons why, and it was just needed that we cut the final chords and dismissed any hopes of having hopes. Once that is done, now I am sure that this is not the place where I wanna be wasting my time, you know. Somehow I am happy and at peace. Love!
♥
Yesssss...cutting the final chords..yes very perfectly put...u will be happy...mwah mwah
Purple <3
I'm sad to hear about sad times.
I have some chaos issues at the moments as well and it's hard to get my mind straight at times, but in general I'm feeling pretty good actually.
I hope you find a better one soon. It's your birthday soon, how exciting. Mine is at the end of next month ^^.
When I break up with someone, I have to break up all contact too, it helps, I would be too much involved otherwise.
Nahno ∗ McLein ™
Yay Nahno!! Birthday season is here :) Thanks for the comment! I hope you find the solution to whatever has been bothering you soon :)
*hugs* i'm so proud of you. i know what you're going through, and i have faith that both of us can become independent of these kind of heart breakers!
I have faith in both of us too, :) hugs
♥
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