Okay, remember when I told you guys I made an OkCupid account and deleted it? Well I did go to hit the delete button but I thought of giving it one more day, and then deleted it. A lot happened in that one day. I did respond to one message in anger, but I should have known better, and just hit delete. The guy responded, and seemed to be really nice too, so we decided to chat. The chat went well too, superb. It was time to exchange pics. He said, maybe we should do that later, because he did not want me to go only for his looks and that he was sick of girls falling for him just because of his looks. So I said well, okay.
We chatted for 4 days, it was really nice and I thought it was going somewhere, and tonight I suggested the idea of sharing pics because honestly I was feeling a little intimidated and did not want to go too long before seeing this guy. So, he said that he will not show me all his pics, just a few. I said alright, and we started sharing pics. He added his first pic and I was like...
Yeah. That was my reaction. Coz he really was ewww. All that build up was like just thrashed to pieces. And then it was my turn, so I showed him my pic, after which he sorta got attracted to me instantly and started asking for my number. Now the thing was that before I saw him, I really liked him. I know 4 days is a really short time to decide if one likes/dislikes someone but he knew just what to say and when to say. Now his approach, attitude, and everything else just instantly changed after he saw my picture, and he started being all desperate. Secondly he put up a really bad act of being Mr.Popular but he did have some very good marketing skills. Like he said he was 6 feet tall, only he did not mention that he looked like a Zombie. And here I was feeling like aww... what if he doesn't like me!! (assuming that he was a hot hunk)
I always say things about people assuming things about me all the time, but I had to learn the hard way. Like Stacey says, 'Assuming only makes an "ass" of "u" and "me"'.
Something also made me feel inside, was I such a shallow person? I mean I kept liking this guy till the moment he showed me his picture. My perception changed instantly. Now I am not a very looks oriented person, but I am not sure what made me do that. Was it because I was let down because of all the false build up? Or was it because he really did look that bad. Also I have to add here that according to me, looking bad is a hard thing to do. Coz for me good looks are about good personality and really being able to carry oneself well. A sweet looking person can also look bad with a bad dressing sense and a sloppy confidence. Period. What do you guys think?
The good thing out of all this is that I do not have to procrastinate anymore and really focus on the darn exam! Enough of all this stupid bull shit. I am really not cut out for this. I did delete my OkCupid account. Not deactivate, delete. I did it for real this time, I swear! Also, a very dear friend of mine made something so beautiful for me today that I totally need to share it out here. And that person made it right in front of me, in less than 5 minutes.
It pretty much made my day. And also reminded me, that I should only look up, at the sky, coz that is where I really belong. So Sky, I am coming for you, real real soon, in one of those Boeing's, or if luckier, maybe an Airbus... and I'm never going to forget that I love you so so much. Thank you Lord for the small mercies, I would not have been able to survive without the one friend that I always needed. And you always provided me with that one person, in some form or the other.
I did not sleep all night, going to bed now, it's 5 30 AM and by the time I wake up, half of my Sunday will be over. I was anticipating a beautiful night, I think I got much more.
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| Oh yeah, the icon did it again. |
We chatted for 4 days, it was really nice and I thought it was going somewhere, and tonight I suggested the idea of sharing pics because honestly I was feeling a little intimidated and did not want to go too long before seeing this guy. So, he said that he will not show me all his pics, just a few. I said alright, and we started sharing pics. He added his first pic and I was like...
EWWWW!
Yeah. That was my reaction. Coz he really was ewww. All that build up was like just thrashed to pieces. And then it was my turn, so I showed him my pic, after which he sorta got attracted to me instantly and started asking for my number. Now the thing was that before I saw him, I really liked him. I know 4 days is a really short time to decide if one likes/dislikes someone but he knew just what to say and when to say. Now his approach, attitude, and everything else just instantly changed after he saw my picture, and he started being all desperate. Secondly he put up a really bad act of being Mr.Popular but he did have some very good marketing skills. Like he said he was 6 feet tall, only he did not mention that he looked like a Zombie. And here I was feeling like aww... what if he doesn't like me!! (assuming that he was a hot hunk)
I always say things about people assuming things about me all the time, but I had to learn the hard way. Like Stacey says, 'Assuming only makes an "ass" of "u" and "me"'.
I will never, ever assume again.
Something also made me feel inside, was I such a shallow person? I mean I kept liking this guy till the moment he showed me his picture. My perception changed instantly. Now I am not a very looks oriented person, but I am not sure what made me do that. Was it because I was let down because of all the false build up? Or was it because he really did look that bad. Also I have to add here that according to me, looking bad is a hard thing to do. Coz for me good looks are about good personality and really being able to carry oneself well. A sweet looking person can also look bad with a bad dressing sense and a sloppy confidence. Period. What do you guys think?
The good thing out of all this is that I do not have to procrastinate anymore and really focus on the darn exam! Enough of all this stupid bull shit. I am really not cut out for this. I did delete my OkCupid account. Not deactivate, delete. I did it for real this time, I swear! Also, a very dear friend of mine made something so beautiful for me today that I totally need to share it out here. And that person made it right in front of me, in less than 5 minutes.
 | |||
| The rose is for me, that stands above the mountains and touches the sky. What a beautiful thought! I could never come out with something like that in 5 minutes. |
It pretty much made my day. And also reminded me, that I should only look up, at the sky, coz that is where I really belong. So Sky, I am coming for you, real real soon, in one of those Boeing's, or if luckier, maybe an Airbus... and I'm never going to forget that I love you so so much. Thank you Lord for the small mercies, I would not have been able to survive without the one friend that I always needed. And you always provided me with that one person, in some form or the other.
I did not sleep all night, going to bed now, it's 5 30 AM and by the time I wake up, half of my Sunday will be over. I was anticipating a beautiful night, I think I got much more.
Someone once said to me about this song :
This word 'free falling' ... Can be so easily mistaken by so many that its about a guy breaking up with a girl and somehow doesn't regret, or likes being free ... But in a deeper sense ... It can mean a life that has surpassed all forms of experiences and is willing to give up all things that die down that soul to the urban life and break away from the daily facade...
It could not have been more aptly expressed, so I had to quote it.
Have a good one you guys :)
Love, and only love, no lies.
Apfel
♥
4 comments:
He sounds like a salesman. I can appreciate his attempt at building value before sharing pics, but lets be honest, he knew he was a butterface and he deliberately mislead you. You obviously don't need that. Remember, the best things happen when you least expect it!
"And also reminded me, that I should only look up, at the sky, coz that is where I really belong."
Beautiful.
Do break away from the "daily facade," babe. It's not worth all of the heartache that accompanies it. We were created for so much more. To love. To be loved. Wholly.
♥♥♥
Agentblue24,
I should keep this in mind more often. I always tell this to people and fail to apply it to my own self! The best things will happen when I least expect it. Thank you so much for putting it in my face, right how I needed to confront it. I'm just gonna go with the flow now :)
Stacey,
I always feel so much better when I read your comments. Yeah, maybe someone, somewhere, is also looking for me like I am looking for him lol :) Now I am going to let him find me though, I try working my way towards him and I find creeps and liars all the time!
♥ ♥ ♥
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