Yesterday was a very eventful day for me. I did a lot of constructive reading (blogs) in the morning, then I took Hannah (my 9 year old darling niece) for her dance test. Hannah learns a dance form called Kathak, which is basically originated in the Northern parts of India. The dance is performed in traditional Indian attire, and they tie Ghungroos around both ankles, which basically is a belt which is fitted with many tiny bells, which make a rather melodious sound while the feet are in motion. It's shown in the image below.
I had to drop her off by 3:30PM, but on the way I wanted to go over to "the" mall (where I cried over the Usher song) to exchange a certain item and also to redeem the gift vouchers I won, coz the expiry date for them was today. So I picked her up at 2:00PM, and I had instructed her to not wear the ghungroos coz we had to make a scheduled stop on the way. I think my niece has some of my traits - like doing her own thang irrespective of what others say. She wore the bell strap around her ankles in spite of me asking her not to do so. The part that followed was the most fun part. I took her to the mall anyway, and she was the only person walking around with bells strapped to her ankles, and everyone was looking at her. So she stared not-lifting her feet while walking, which basically means she was just gliding/sliding through the floor. I wish my parents treated the stubborn me with such finesse (haha), usually I would just get a scolding for doing something like that and I would cry myself to sleep, then repeat it again the next day. Vicious cycle!
The sucky part is that, since I am almost 15 years older to her, and I do not dress like a teenaged hooker like the normal girls out here, people assume that I am her Mom. This also has got to do with the fact that she spends a lot of time with me. Even while traveling, she would be next to me, or for shopping, or when we go out for movies, anywhere. The worse part is, I take that as a compliment coz well it's better to be known as a Mom who looks pretty good for her age, rather than a single girl who does not look younger than she actually is.
Anyway so, after the mall stop, I dropped her off at her dance academy, where teenaged girls (17-19) who learned Bharatnatyam (another Indian dance form basically from Southern India) had their Annual Day performance. Now since we reached earlier than expected, I was waiting in the room along with Hannah, till the other girls arrived. One of the teenaged girls (I know she is teenaged coz she had boobs, ha) walked up to me and asked......
I was like WTF!!!! DID SHE JUST CALL ME AUNTY??? *loud thunder and black clouds surfacing in my mind with a heavy gusty storm*.... But well I did not wanna spoil her day (and performance) so I just told her what time it was, and moved away. Another thing I should mention here is that Indian people have the stupid habit of calling everyone and anyone elder to them as Uncle/Aunty/Brother/Sister. Let me just be happy and think that the teenaged girl called me Aunty coz Hannah was next to me holding hands the whole time, and I was fixing her dress and hair. But I do not like being called that.. UGhhhh! A kid next to you could make so much difference to how people perceive you! The same way when I go out with Ryan or Joe, it is assumed that I am their girlfriend/wife.
When I was on my way back home, I stopped by the Farmer's market. I thought of buying me some fresh Strawberries. The guy who was selling them, referred to me as "Bhabhi"- Brother's wife. (Just so you know, the Indian National Pledge starts this way - India is my country, all Indians are my brothers and sisters. SERIOUSLY!) Why the fuck did that guy assume I was married?! OMG... I was really flustered by that time, but something good came out of it. I bought 3 boxes of strawberries at the price of 1. (Yes, petty things like these make me extremely happy.)
I am sure everyone who read my post where I spoke about people judging me, would get a further insight into what I was talking about, after reading this post. People just assume stuff out here. They say it's their way of showing respect. Well, you do not have to make everyone your relative to show respect! You can show respect to anyone. And not to forget the amount of people you end up hurting or irritating with your idiotic salutations. I also learned something very important and wrote something down on a mental piece of paper in my mind that says:
All in all, it was good as compared to my normal day where I usually stay at home the whole time. Now, moving on to my 18th day of truth:
I strongly believe that any form of love that is pure deserves to be incorporated into an everlasting bond. Just like we have an everlasting bond with our parents or friends or siblings or lovers, gay love is also love after all. I am totally FOR gay marriage. It's still a new concept here in India, but I do know some gay couples, and since homosexuality has been legalized in India last year, many people have been coming out of the closet.
I must confess something though, I had a friend who told me he was gay and I was the first non-gay person to know about it. Well he is not gay, but he is bisexual. I respect that totally. But what he did was share every explicit detail with me, which used to make me really awkward. I asked him to stop doing that, but his answer to that was that I should probably share with him, my intimate details with Ryan too, to which I harshly refused. I do getvery uncomfortable with sharing of intimate details with friends, it's not limited to the sexual orientation of the person at all. I just feel it's very private and I know that I am right. Anyway, that did not stop him. He kept coming out with his sexcapades, day after day after day, until we reached the day when I had a really heated argument with him, post which I cut contact with him. We did get back to talking terms in a year or so, but it's never going to be the same, even if he has a serious girlfriend now.
But hey, I am all FOR marriage, gay, or not gay!
Hope you guys have a great weekend!
Apfel
xo
P.S. No.44 and 46 have been stricken off The List as of today :)
 |
| Kathak and check out the ghungroos around her ankles |
I had to drop her off by 3:30PM, but on the way I wanted to go over to "the" mall (where I cried over the Usher song) to exchange a certain item and also to redeem the gift vouchers I won, coz the expiry date for them was today. So I picked her up at 2:00PM, and I had instructed her to not wear the ghungroos coz we had to make a scheduled stop on the way. I think my niece has some of my traits - like doing her own thang irrespective of what others say. She wore the bell strap around her ankles in spite of me asking her not to do so. The part that followed was the most fun part. I took her to the mall anyway, and she was the only person walking around with bells strapped to her ankles, and everyone was looking at her. So she stared not-lifting her feet while walking, which basically means she was just gliding/sliding through the floor. I wish my parents treated the stubborn me with such finesse (haha), usually I would just get a scolding for doing something like that and I would cry myself to sleep, then repeat it again the next day. Vicious cycle!
The sucky part is that, since I am almost 15 years older to her, and I do not dress like a teenaged hooker like the normal girls out here, people assume that I am her Mom. This also has got to do with the fact that she spends a lot of time with me. Even while traveling, she would be next to me, or for shopping, or when we go out for movies, anywhere. The worse part is, I take that as a compliment coz well it's better to be known as a Mom who looks pretty good for her age, rather than a single girl who does not look younger than she actually is.
 |
| Expat looking super beautiful in Bharatnatyam make-up. |
Anyway so, after the mall stop, I dropped her off at her dance academy, where teenaged girls (17-19) who learned Bharatnatyam (another Indian dance form basically from Southern India) had their Annual Day performance. Now since we reached earlier than expected, I was waiting in the room along with Hannah, till the other girls arrived. One of the teenaged girls (I know she is teenaged coz she had boobs, ha) walked up to me and asked......
"Aunty, may I know what time it is?"
I was like WTF!!!! DID SHE JUST CALL ME AUNTY??? *loud thunder and black clouds surfacing in my mind with a heavy gusty storm*.... But well I did not wanna spoil her day (and performance) so I just told her what time it was, and moved away. Another thing I should mention here is that Indian people have the stupid habit of calling everyone and anyone elder to them as Uncle/Aunty/Brother/Sister. Let me just be happy and think that the teenaged girl called me Aunty coz Hannah was next to me holding hands the whole time, and I was fixing her dress and hair. But I do not like being called that.. UGhhhh! A kid next to you could make so much difference to how people perceive you! The same way when I go out with Ryan or Joe, it is assumed that I am their girlfriend/wife.
When I was on my way back home, I stopped by the Farmer's market. I thought of buying me some fresh Strawberries. The guy who was selling them, referred to me as "Bhabhi"- Brother's wife. (Just so you know, the Indian National Pledge starts this way - India is my country, all Indians are my brothers and sisters. SERIOUSLY!) Why the fuck did that guy assume I was married?! OMG... I was really flustered by that time, but something good came out of it. I bought 3 boxes of strawberries at the price of 1. (Yes, petty things like these make me extremely happy.)
I am sure everyone who read my post where I spoke about people judging me, would get a further insight into what I was talking about, after reading this post. People just assume stuff out here. They say it's their way of showing respect. Well, you do not have to make everyone your relative to show respect! You can show respect to anyone. And not to forget the amount of people you end up hurting or irritating with your idiotic salutations. I also learned something very important and wrote something down on a mental piece of paper in my mind that says:
Note to self : Next time onwards when you go out with Hannah, dress like a teenaged hooker.
All in all, it was good as compared to my normal day where I usually stay at home the whole time. Now, moving on to my 18th day of truth:
I strongly believe that any form of love that is pure deserves to be incorporated into an everlasting bond. Just like we have an everlasting bond with our parents or friends or siblings or lovers, gay love is also love after all. I am totally FOR gay marriage. It's still a new concept here in India, but I do know some gay couples, and since homosexuality has been legalized in India last year, many people have been coming out of the closet.
I must confess something though, I had a friend who told me he was gay and I was the first non-gay person to know about it. Well he is not gay, but he is bisexual. I respect that totally. But what he did was share every explicit detail with me, which used to make me really awkward. I asked him to stop doing that, but his answer to that was that I should probably share with him, my intimate details with Ryan too, to which I harshly refused. I do get
But hey, I am all FOR marriage, gay, or not gay!
Hope you guys have a great weekend!
Apfel
xo
P.S. No.44 and 46 have been stricken off The List as of today :)
11 comments:
Haha, geez, how funny is that custom. In the South, we always were taught to say 'yes ma'am' and 'yes sir'. If I say it to someone not from the South, they get offended, like I am calling them old. I am sure they are just doing it to be nice. And if you do start dressing like a hooker, you gotta post those pictures, haha
Ma'am and Sir are still alright, this is like forcibly making a relation out of it! It does have it's good side too. Like you know, if a guy is hitting on you, you can just call him "bro" and he won't hit on you ever again :P
Teenaged hooker pics.. Those are going to be a laughter riot! Seriously!! I might just put them up lol ;)
Aww, that's super sweet that you spend so much time with your little cousin. It's nice that she has you to look up to. ♥
And I think it's super disrespectful to assume things about people. That'd be like me assuming the guy walking past me on the sidewalk was going to rob me just because he's black. (Maybe that example is a little extreme, but still...)
I don't know if you've ever heard this, but there's an Amercian saying that says to assume only makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me." :)
Yeah, she is the cutest thing ever! And at 9 years, she can totally own Lips of an angel by Hinder (I taught her ;) ) She sings so well!
I totally understand the thing about what you said. And trust me, THAT is how extreme people tend to get this side of the world!
OMG that saying is the best saying I have heard in 2011!! ROFL :P
I forgot to send the tradiditional ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
There are lots of them coz it's Valentines Day tomorrow! :P
A year ago I was buying a bus ticket, and was asked if I had a high school student's discount. I was frickin' 30! So that was cute.
But I understand why you get upset with certain cultural codes - because you don't feel completely at ease in your culture. For instance, in my language we make a difference between "you" = second person singular and "you" = a form of respect. Sort of like the French tu and vous. Up until recently, people used only the first one with me because (apparently) I look younger than my years. As flattering as that may sound, it was often accompanied with disrespect: because you look like a kid, we will treat you like one.
Lately, I have been getting more respectful "yous" and "missus-es". It's been a relief because I'm getting better service. Ha.
So what I'm saying is, don't take it personally. People simply need to address other people *somehow*, and we don't get much time to learn about each other in everyday situations, hence the (in)appropriate addressing. Just have fun with it, or even mess with people if you feel like it ;)
Oh it's the same out here Chris, in fact there are 3 different ways to address people. Like if someone is of the same age group as you, you call them "tum", if they're younger it's "tu" and if they're elder it's "aap" which is like out of respect. I mostly get "aap". :P
But yes, I totally got what you meant coz many times I am taken more seriously than the normal people of my age just because I look elder. I used to know a girl/lady who lived with me for some time during training, she was 34 and looked 16, and for some reason she was never ever taken seriously!
Yeah, messing around is fun :) I should play along the next time! ;)
In every blog I've read today, people have had a rough/crying week.
...And crazy people assuming everything. I guess that's just part of life, right?
Whitney
Yeah, the only way I perceive it is that if we've had a crappy week, the next one will only be better :P Can't really change the crazy peoples' mindsets... So gotta go with the flow :)
Love the Indian dancing, my wife and I recently attended a fundraiser for the floods in Pakistan at our sons school, where the Indian and Pakistani dancers performed. Then the kids done a wee routine, it was hilarious.
Don't let other peoples ignorance bother you, have a great day AUNTY!!!
Sorry I couldn't resist it.
Ryan,
The Indian dancing is definitely something that makes you wanna dance along :P
And yeah I will have a great day, since you're the only person who called me Aunty and I smiled! :P
Post a Comment